The Not So Dead Blog and Person

It's not been A WHILE, but been ages, I know, NO UPDATE. 
By the way, my life is getting busy, since I am a working lady now. :p
So, just let me update about some important things in my life.

After half decade of college life, I graduated on 28th May 2013.

As I ever talked in my old and previous post (did I?), I am left brain person. 

My major of study was Visual Art Education.
 

I've just mentioned about work and education. So guess what I am working as now?

 I work as a cat hunter.

LOL. Obviously NO.

An educator, a teacher - or a monstrous rebellious teacher.

It's sweet and kind teacher (if you believe so) and I'm teaching Art classes mostly.

The image above is for illustrative purposes only -  I'm not teaching Islamic subject. 

Being a Muslim means you know the method to teach the kids how to perform prayer correctly.

At the same time, I'm trying to be an active amateur artist. After leaving college, I've joined art exhibitions twice, under Artgeng group.  

Recent exhibition held in Bastion House, A Famosa Malacca.

What else? I'm sleepy~

Advantage

One friend once told me,

"You forgive everybody, you don't revenge. You may look harsh and fierce, saying you hate certain people, but I know there is soft spot inside you, you don't hate them actually. You're too kind and innocent, yet people are using you. They talk crap at your back, then find you when they need you, because you'll surely help them. 

I know you very well, and what they said are b******t. Really. *** also said the same thing to me, she doesn't agree what they've said, even you being kind and take no port about bad stuff, they're still people talk bad about you. But I know they're wrong."

I used to think, I don't mind what people want to talk my negative sides, I'm not a Prophet, I'm imperfect, same as you people. Indeed they're many aspects in our way are unacceptable, even being kind and optimistic. I complained about others as well, but not because I'm merely do not satisfy about 'em, it's when I found it's too wrong to do. Mama told me the same thing, I'm one who always have no heart looking people in trouble, yet troubling myself, and troubling my family. Sorry.

My teacher always said,

"Treat your friend as if one day he/ she'll become your enemy, and treat you enemy as if one day he/ she'll become our friend."

I keep thinking, I don't want to do that. How can I treat my friend like an enemy? I can never do that! I can treat my enemy like a friend, because I can tolerate with my hatred towards 'em. And I do forgive people. It has taken 4 years for me to understand the meaning behind. 

BE CAREFUL. 

DON'T TRUST PEOPLE TOO EASY, BECAUSE PEOPLE CHANGE. 

THEY'RE NOT ANGELS.

Hating people, making enemy, keeping grudge - all are the things that hated by Allah. If we do what is hated by the Mighty one, how can we live by His blessings?

p/s: this is my self-expression, DO NOT ask me what happened. 

A single year passed.

It's been a year since the tragedy I accidentally cut my fingers. If you're wandering about it, read here. The longest period of MC break ever I got - 22 days! Ha3. Then, I had to attend the Bina Insan Guru (BIG) with wounded finger. (See background, I was in oil palm plantation).

FAQs about the incident (which sometimes I don't know how to answer):

Q: How did you feel when your finger was cut? Did the wound really hurt?
A: Only Allah knew how did I feel. When I was admitted at the hospital, the nurse asked me to give pain scale (1-10),  first day I said it was 5, and the second day I said was 6. I could've give it higher but I put my maximum strength to endure the pain. The pain increased after the operation performed. Well, it's just minor injury anyway. I know there are many people suffer much more than me. :)

Q: Did you cry when it happened?
A: I had no time to cry the moment my finger was cut, because I only think when I was going to complete my sculptures for final assessment. But I did when I was at home, trying to take out my shirt by right hand from a shelf (with other shirts), and suddenly all of 'em fell down and I couldn't hold 'em up by my left hand. It was the moment I burst into tears thinking how helpless I was, couldn't do what I normally did. Once is enough. ^_^ p/s: my tears is expensive ha3

Q: How long did it take to get fully healed?
A: Less than 4 months 'cuz I didn't skip physiotherapy. 

Q: Any changes in your life after the incident?
A: Yes, the way I equip my watch. I used to wear it at left wrist, but after the incident, I wear it at right wrist, until today. 

See the blue circle (left) and yellow circle (right)

Q: Any side effect?
A: Yup, my middle finger is crooked until today, even though I wore splint before. The splint is supposed to straighten the finger, but I didn't successfully straight. 90% I can say, but it's much better than before. Sometimes I do need to equip it 'cuz there's time my finger feel unpleasant. Plus, of course I have 3 scars.

Today, I already live as a healthy, happy and thankful person.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY CROOKED FINGER, WELCOME TO MY LIFE.

(^_^)V

p/s: Yey, this is the 100th entry!

Sometimes I guess I'm not normal

What makes me feel that way? It's somehow NOT sometimes, but I consider is most of the times, about 65-80% all my life. I don't act like normal. What I've been doing actually? 

1. I tend to do reverse reading.

I tend to read something from back to front. (e.g. magazine, newspaper, book). I tend to read from bottom to top. (e.g. advertisement, blog, online newspaper, article, wikipedia).

2. What comes in my mind is not what comes out from my mouth.

Up until today, I could always call "purple" as "ORANGE". So I always make sure to think first before I say. This is not because I slipped my tongue, it happened since I was a kid. The moment I pointed a purple slipper, I was asking Ayah "Nak selipar oren tu boleh tak?" and Ayah was so clueless since he saw no sign of orange slipper existed. Some friends once called me dyslexia, and even autism! (=.=)" To be honest, sometimes I do such see signs, though. But please, I keep praying to lead my life as a normal one. (Leonardo da Vinci had dyslexia too, but he's super intelligent!)

3. I love what I hate in other way (but I consider this as normal)

I hate hazelnut - the chunk one. But I love hazelnut spread and hazelnut coffee. 

I hate almond - the chunk and nibs one. But I love almond oil scent.

I hate pineapple - at any form. But I swallowed the chopped one in cocktail, willingly.

I love green bean, but I truly hate when it grows up - as BEANSPROUT! 

I love rose scent, but my skin is actually allergy with rose essence. 

(more to list, actually)

However, what I'm very thankful towards whom am I born and live as. Allah doesn't give everything I want, but He gives everything I need. People around me see myself as a successful and the one with bright future (I'm not boasting) because I'm going to be an educator. It is indeed different from what I used to wish what I wanted to be, yet I haven't seen where's the blessing in disguise, so I will keep waiting patiently. I know I'm a weirdo, but this is who I am, this is my life. C:

The dinner chef

Mama was busy to key in her students' mark. Ayah was busy with his iPad. I was the one less busy facing facebook. Mama said she couldn't make time to prepare for dinner. I asked 'em whether we're going out for dinner, Ayah ignored my inquiry. So, the 'good-heart-one' like me offered if I should do it. Mama said sardine and tempe would just enough. That made me a lone chef today. Usually Ayah would help at kitchen, but only to prepare breakfast.

I'm indeed not a good cook, I only cook myself when I'm  only one at home. If I were alone with Kakak, we cook together. All my life I've never prepared fully meal for my family.  Just helping little with vegetables is my specialty. ha3.

Preparing sardine and tempe dishes took 30 minutes - because I cut onion neatly and nicely ha3. 

The dishes all I could do T_T

After finished cooking, I went to take bath. I heard Mama said it's delicious. I wonder which one she meant. After dinner, they commented;

Mama : Tempe ni sedap, tapi tak cukup masak.

I          : Macam mana nak tau cukup masak ke tak?

Ayah   : Tengok je la warna dia ni, masih putih, belum serap air lagi. 

Mama : Patutnya kena letak air banyak sikit.

I          : Biasanya Mama bubuh sos tiram tak? Adik letak je tadi.

Mama : Tak, cuma air je la nak bagi lembap.

Ayah   : Bilis banyak betul! *chuckle*

I          : Banyak ke? Segenggam je la.

Ayah    : Ya Allah... 

Mama : Banyak la tu! Nasib baik awak masak, senang Mama nak buat kerja.

I always failed preparing meal except making spaghetti and pasta. It must be something lack with my cooking. So dear any mother whom is seeking a daughter-in-law, DON'T CHOOSE people like ME or else your son gonna be skinny after marriage. LOL. 

Day 19 – A picture of something you want to do before you die

Pilgrimage.

I hope to visit there at least before I'm 25.

Day 5 – What makes you different from everyone else?

Everybody is different. But what makes the really really really different among people around me is the way I talk. They said I talk properly (a.k.a. skema), but very fast (and Ayah hates this very much).

> People said I have a super geek-look though I'm exactly not the one.

> I may talk eloquently, but I  participate neither  debate nor speech, because I'm truly lack of confident and I don't think I'm suit for them. However, people around me said my face looks charismatic and confidence. (Let me laugh, please).

> I'm quite systematic sometimes, since I measure by the detail numbers (like 1.28 mm) and that's why people call me nerd and geek and I must change my toothbrush each 3 months and change my glasses every year. ha3

> I'm don't keep up with the latest music plays on the radio, like other teenagers do. I just listen to any song that I feel comfy to my heart and ears.


> I'm not easily burst into tears like other girls do.

> I have very high curiosity to something I'm interested (such as art and history) and sometimes I just can't stop asking! (Thus, people think I'm challenging them. NO! I just want the answer!), but I'm not a busybody person. Actually I don't give a damn about negative thing of what or who has nothing to do with me, though hoax about 'em spreads like fire. I'd rather stay away from listening to bad thing I've never ever known!.

> Physically I look so harsh and cold-heart but actually I'm easily get sympathetic to unlucky one.

> I don't revenge to people I hate though I have chance to do (this is one of my life principal), but it doesn't mean I'm coward. I just wish they realize what they have done is wrong, and won't do the same thing to others. Avenge is not the way to teach them back, because everyone has heart to change. 

> I don't put make up (even though Mama a cosmetic stuffs dealer!) on my face because I want people around me to see the real myself. But I don't offend those whom put thick cosmetic stuffs on their face. For me that's your art :)

> For someone that always been titled as "no hope", I won't think that way, even in critical state. For me, people change and Allah is one whom decide their fate, not us. So as long as you don't die, you still have chance in your life, though it may be different.

> I'm a girl with scars on my left middle finger, index finger and thumb. That's the reason I call myself as Frankenstein.

In other words, I can classify as people hardly judge who I am. Lots people said it's not easy to guess what I will do and what comes to my mind, most people can't read me (face and palm). So, for all 'fortune-teller' that appeared in my life, you made me burst into laugh and shame on you!